Q: How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A: His lips are moving.
Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
Q: Why did God make snakes just before lawyers?
A: To practice.
Q: Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A: Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and nightcrawlers
Q: What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q: Now then, Mrs. Johnson, how was your first marriage terminated?
A: By death.
Q: And by whose death was it terminated?
Q: What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A: Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
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